We Become – a New Mantra

1. “We are our choices.” Jean-Paul Sartre
2. “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
3. “Decisions shape our lives more than circumstances.” Steven Covey
4. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

Most will see a pattern when reading the first three quotes but will question how the fourth dovetails with the others.

No matter the size or the perceived impact of any decision, all are significant. Not looking for a philosophical discussion, I simplified this as a self-spoken training mantra, “We become the decisions we make.” And yes, I admit this is too often forgotten in the busyness of life.

With my mantra in mind, interpreting that bible verse as a to-do list made sense to me. I reasoned that working toward achieving these goals (love, joy, peace, and others) one at a time would be the correct path. But, in a way, that created another mantra: "Try harder!"

• Be peaceful today.
• Be more loving, hold your tongue and be a listener.
• Work on kindness this week.
• Be understanding – and happy!
• Be, do, and act the ‘fruit of the Spirit’ and God will be happy with me.

The truth revealed; I can’t just wake up and perform. I can’t force these virtues by checking them off a list. I have no magic wand to wave over my flaws to create perfection. I will fall short, always.

As I am no Biblical scholar, I sometimes find that looking to other translations helps.

”But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.” Galatians 5:22-23 (The Message)

An observation then. Forget the list. Instead, adopt a certain way to live. If made carefully and intentionally with the right motives, each decision, each spoken word, will guide us toward a maturity that includes goodness, kindness, loving, and well, you get the idea.

This is when those ‘gifts’ begin to show up. Like fruit-bearing trees and shrubs, we care for the orchards, vines, and shrubs of our lives (the decisions, thoughts, and words) seeking the elements of life – sunlight, water, clean air, and fertile soil. The fruit ripens with a life-long commitment to create the desirable future person we imagine.

On our own, none of us would believe that we could change the world. But we can change ourselves. And one at a time, the example, the model we become, can change this world - one person at a time.

I have, you’ve probably noticed, become disheartened with what I see in the world today. I’ll admit my blindness to the underlying causes. I labored under those rose-tinted glasses. No more. I will reaffirm my decision-making mantra and pay attention.

I will approach every decision a little differently now.

• LOVE: There will be a cost, but the goal remains: Make every decision reflect love toward myself and others.
• JOY: See that my decisions bring fresh eyes and a joyful presence to the room.
• PEACE: Decide that all spoken words bring shalom (calmness, wholeness, completeness, harmony) to others.
• PATIENCE: Pause. Forgo the immediate response. Decisions must value ear over mouth.
• KINDNESS: With every opportunity, decide that all words and actions promote friendship, consideration, generosity, comfort, and unity.
• GOODNESS: Always interact in a way that is benevolent and virtuous.
• FAITHFULLNESS: Trust in the possibility of a better world.
• GENTLENESS: Realize that it never works to be loud and in-your-face. Look to present positive emotions, especially compassion and empathy.
• SELF-CONTROL: Some decisions need to be delayed. They need reflective examination. It is better to walk away until negative emotions have dissipated leaving room for rational outcomes.

I think this is a good way to move forward. But as I was typing, I started noticing (again) my propensity for list-building. What you see in bullet points above is just another checklist.

Eventually, I found something that helps.

“Abundant life is not at all about “having,” but about giving, and giving to the full. From a full heart. For the sake of others, which immediately refills the heart to overflowing.” John Marboe.

Ahh. A new mantra, perhaps. This should be much easier to remember than the to-do list without sacrificing any value provided by bullet-points.

“Abundant life is determined by the decisions we make.”

May good fruit appear in your orchard.