The View From Here

We live in interesting times. When I opened my desktop the other day, this is what I saw. The image filling the entire screen also filled me with a slight case of acrophobia. I didn't know that a two-dimensional picture could do that.

It reminded me of a recent conversation about viewpoints. We weren't talking about visual viewpoints, but experiential viewpoints that change our picture of life - and our opinions. I think I'm ready to show you an example. Imagine the following scene.

Two people hugged each other at a gas station. Facing each other, they see different things. Participant M sees cars on the road moving quickly to their destinations. Participant W sees a white truck aggressively pulling up behind "M" who notices the truck but pays little attention.

A few days later, "W" knocks on the door of "M". "W" is borderline hysterical and cries out, "I can't do this again. That white truck, it was. . . I just can't. I'm protecting YOU. That white truck, I can't do this again. I'm so sorry. You just don't know!"

Throughout this outburst, "M" is mostly bewildered wondering, "What white truck? What is "W" talking about? Why so upset about a truck I don't remember?"

Eventually, a calmer discussion ensues. All the pieces are appropriately in place: The day, the place, and the white truck are now defined.

This is not exactly like two people looking at the same Avatar photograph while coming to different conclusions, The viewpoints are physically different as the participants are facing two different directions. But the situation is common to both. We're looking at the reactions of two people as they participated in the same event.

Now that we've looked at the occurrence, let's look at the backstories.

These two people lived in rowhouse-similar units with only one unit separating them. They know each other and spend time together semi-regularly. Person "M" is a white man and Person "W" is a Black woman.

One day "M" had been called to help as "W" had run out of gas. Things were taken care of and finalized at the gas station where a grateful hug occurred.

The viewpoint of "W".

The people in the white truck pulled up aggressively behind "M" and were violently scowling at "W", not at all happy to see her hugging a white man. The white man's back was to the truck, but the Black woman's memories had now been triggered. She had been to this "place" before. The remembered consequences were horrific. She freaked out - and rightly so. She was afraid. She feared for her safety and the safety of her friend. Although she kept her fear contained at the event, it simmered for days and brought tears with hysteria when "keeping it in" was no longer under her control.

The viewpoint of "M".

Initially, having completely forgotten the white truck, the white man took the news with questioning confusion. Thinking back, the truck was remembered due to the engine heat as it closed in behind him. His reaction was little more than, "What a jerk." There was no lingering thought of the truck or its inhabitants.

But now with the completed puzzle, this day had become a dizzying experience even for the white man. Historically, he had no history of hatred expressed because he was white. This exposure has changed that and is now seared into his memory banks. He has now lived through a bout of racial hatred. Although only once and without disastrous consequences, he has now 'been there before'. The woman has experienced a lifetime of similar events, some with dissimilar outcomes.

We don't know each other and cannot speak to our personal stories.

We might continue basing opinions and facts on personal life experiences and conclude ours is the only 'real life' that matters. We can decide that our way is the proper and correct way to see the world. We can assume an all-knowing approach to decree what life should look like. We can accept (ignore) our biases while judging others that fail to behave 'properly'.

We will never know what the world is like for someone else.

But we can make an effort. We can seek to understand. We can learn about another if we listen to them. We can then allow our self-focused propensity for clarity some grace. We cannot know everything and when we act as if we do, we close the door with finality on any chance of reconciliation or potential relationship.

Look again at the image. From the ground looking up, we would see these majestic towering monoliths as we crane our necks looking to the sky. Looking straight downward, others would float above the sharp peaks while noting the earth distant and diminished - with maybe a bit of acrophobia (hoping it's not just me.).

Neither viewpoint is wrong or disturbing. Both exhibit the beauty of nature. If possible, why would we not want to see the view from both directions? Why would we choose to leave 50% of this enchanting vision on the cutting room floor?

That makes no sense at all, but I'm afraid we do it all the time.

The story of Paul and Cornelius makes some mention of this, I think. It is worth spending some time reading Acts 10.

"While talking with him, Peter went inside and found a large gathering of people. He said to them: “You are well aware that it is against our law for a Jew to associate with or visit a Gentile. But God has shown me that I should not call anyone impure or unclean. So when I was sent for, I came without raising any objection. May I ask why you sent for me?” Acts 10:27-29

A side note is required. The story could have happened anywhere but took place in Cincinnati a couple of years ago. This I know because I am "M".