I Didn’t Know, a Confession, and a Way Forward

I Didn’t Know, a Confession, and a Way Forward

I have been around the block a few times and I spent much of my life thinking, “Things are getting better. People are getting better.” But I didn’t know.

I Didn't Know

  • In grade school, I was taught how to treat others. I didn’t know.
  • Horrified and tearfully sad I watched Shindler’s List many times, but underneath, I believed those days were over - forever. I didn’t know.
  • It took a movie to hear about the Green Book used for travel. It was unnerving to think people used this tiny publication during my sophomore year in high school. I was comforted that it was no longer needed. I didn’t know.
  • I was confused when my dad angrily and strenuously objected to my mother’s statement, “I’m going to get a job.” She wanted to mix with other adults and earn extra money. I didn’t know.
  • Learning about the Statue of Liberty – how it came to be and what it means, made me proud of our national tradition, I didn’t know.
  • Hearing Harry Bosch (television character) saying, “Everybody counts or nobody counts.” I thought, “Yep, that’s right”. I didn’t know.
  • I spent time in a Tulsa, Oklahoma museum called Greenwood Rising. My feet would not bring me closer to the ‘some-living-person-wore-those-chains’ display case. I was horrified that thirty years before I was born, Black Wall Street was bombed by Tulsa residents. I was horrified that throughout my entire education, I didn’t know.
  • Bloody Sunday happened in 1965. It was on television. It changed laws. I see pictures of the Edmund Pettus Bridge now and wonder how I could have remained so ignorant of this event. How could I not remember? Did I not pay attention to the news? I didn’t know.
  • In this country, I felt secure in the knowledge that without any conditions, Federal aid would be sent to all people in this country experiencing natural disasters. I didn’t know.
  • I remember pictures of white-robed people wearing eye-holed pointed headgear to conceal their identities while burning crosses. What evil, I thought. Then I discovered that the only change during my lifetime was the elimination of the robe and hat. I didn’t know.
  • I remember the hate crime at the Pulse Bar in Florida. I heard justified outrage, but a few years later, there appears to be an accepted open season of terror for this community. Shadows hid this hatred from my consciousness. I didn’t know.
  • I remember Covid-19 and thought, “This is like the early church. We can make a difference together. We can help others. We can protect others.” It turns out that our rights to gather and our resistance to “rights-depriving masks” were more important than people dying. I didn’t know.

Only some of us are alive to remember Polio, Whooping Cough, Smallpox, and Measles. I thought some of these were successfully eradicated. I remember the fear of Polio, but others do not.

  • I remember, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”
  • I remember 1,000 Points of Light.
  • I remember when Mental Health was stigmatized until science learned enough to begin teaching us. I rejoiced in the revelations and the help that would come.

I remember, 'Please and thank you." I remember holding a door for someone behind me. I remember greeting strangers and being greeted in return. I remember the Christmas Spirit and the hope it would last 12 months a year.

I remember name-calling was not acceptable. I remember commonly shared truths, not accepted entirely by faith, but decided by probing research and discussion. I remember diplomacy. I remember a dialogue of give and take fulfilled in an agreed compromise for the good of all. I remember the belief that tens of thousands of scientists, medical professionals, and researchers worked tirelessly for the benefit of society. I remember believing that leaders and officials were elected to work together to help solve the problems in this country. Our success meant that we reached out to help our neighbors in every corner of the world. I thought that was incredible.

I remember a middle ground. A place to meet, encourage, discuss, listen, and consider. I remember the phrases ‘outer fringe’ and ‘extremist’. I remember both middle ground and fringe were allowed to exist.

My confession.

I began writing this piece for publication on Sunday, February 9. But I realized it came from a place of darkness. It was tabled for possible future use, and for the first time in a decade, I failed to upload a weekly article. After nearly 450 posts, I skipped a week. I considered canceling this part of my life entirely.

I fell deeper into negative self-talk. There’s no point in continuing this exercise in futility. Nobody joins in, and nobody listens anyway. I was stupid to believe I had something worthwhile to say and to contribute. I am not loud, I am not controversial, and I am not a six-year-old little girl selling lemonade on the corner for homeless puppies. Just who do I think I am? I am invisible. I am completely out of touch with the world. I must be completely delusional. I am stopping this ridiculous and time-consuming effort.

So then, instead of posting the article, I immediately began to wind everything down. I eliminated the subscriptions to both, “Sandals and a Stick Blog” and the new 30-second video series. It’s been that way for 14 days now with my feet planted firmly in the quicksand of self-wallowing. It didn’t take long for me to start sinking.

Moving Forward – Beginning TODAY
Sunday, February 23, 2025:

I will not be that guy.

  • THAT guy gives up and quits on good ideas.
  • THAT guy believes there is no good in him or this world.
  • THAT guy is wrong.

I grabbed a branch of hope. I held on with two hands and the branch cooperated. Thorns, bristles, and rough bark excited nerve endings in bleeding hands, but gradually, I was released from my prison of wet sand. This freedom was painfully purchased as a new resolve was budding.

Pain is one side of life’s coin. Joy is the flip side. There isn’t one without the other. Embracing those truths, I crawled back to my desired reality. I have something to contribute that benefits others, whether they see it or not, whether it makes money or not.

I did not require a GPS to tell me to reroute. I only needed to get back to work. After two weeks of wallowing, I have begun with several changes – adjustments, if you will. I will soon click “send” and all modifications will come to life.

The Sandals and a Stick website has been completely reworked and is ready for a new day. And, just so you know, donation pages have been created in case you feel an urge.

The paid subscriptions will be eliminated for the foreseeable future.

The Sandals and a Stick 30-Second Sermons continue as well as the 30-Second Seasonings. They will be published Monday through Friday on Facebook, BlueSky, LinkedIn, X, and Instagram.

Quite some time ago, I canceled my “X/Twitter” account because of perceived ‘extreme’ activity. However, I have uncomfortably re-upped, but I have found BlueSky caters strongly to one-sided opinions in the other direction. I should be posting to both wanting to be well-rounded and open-minded. I think I have something to say to everyone – no matter the opinions.

The Sandals and a Stick Blog will remain. You can choose to have these delivered weekly by email (subscribe free) or look for their publications every so often on the social media sites mentioned above. The blogs have their own page on the website as well.

It is my hope, along with a few prayers, that you accept my efforts to produce valuable content for living in these stressful times. I encourage you to engage, to like, follow, share, and comment. We need community in times like this.

ONWARD!!